Acceptance has become a central theme in my life and a catalyst for my personal self improvement. It has introduced a profound awareness of my humanity. I grapple with the realization that I cannot simply clean myself up enough to silence the critical voices within. It is the Vine Dresser who must undertake the essential soul-cleaning and pruning (John 15:2). True growth and self-improvement emerge from within and manifest outwardly.
I have come to understand that a significant aspect of self improvement lies in venturing just beyond my comfort zone, experiencing a degree of ‘failure,’ and then rising once more. Much like an inchworm, there is a certain flailing involved in this process. I attempt, I falter, I rise, and I attempt again. While this might appear somewhat negative, I don’t think of it that way. The notion of ‘failure’ has been transformed for me; I now see it as ‘feedback.’
What Are My Options?
I embrace the reality that sometimes I win, and sometimes I learn—a sentiment echoed by one of my mentors, John Maxwell. I acknowledge that I am in a state of growth, yet I remain acutely aware that I am not finished. I’m learning to accept the circumstances that present themselves in my life. I recognize that some of my prior negative thoughts have sown the seeds for the outcomes I now find less than favorable.
Eckhart Tolle wisely states, “Wherever you are, be there totally.” This resonates deeply with me, especially when I find myself in situations that seem intolerable. In such moments, I am reminded that I have three options: to remove myself, to change the situation, or to embrace it completely. At any given moment, we are confronted by powerful forces stemming from our current realities. I have discovered that resisting the present moment only invites frustration into my life.
When I focus on altering an untenable situation—attempting to exert control—I find myself entwined with the problem and the emotional energy it generates, carrying that burden with me wherever I go. It is as if a persistent whisperer resides on my shoulder, continually feeding me toxic thoughts that gradually gain traction, leading to momentum and influence. Thoughts are, indeed, vibrational entities that possess a frequency, inherently attracting similar energies. If this notion seems too abstract or ‘woo-woo,’ consider how our thoughts significantly impact our emotions and behavior. When I concentrate on positive or constructive thoughts, I tend to draw in similar experiences and outcomes. My mindset profoundly influences my self improvement actions and shapes the way I perceive opportunities. This is part of the work I share with others at NewThoughtCoaching.Org
Only Two Life Folders Needed
Cultivating an awareness of our thoughts and feelings represents a higher-level skill that many overlook. This skill unlocks the potential for power and peace within. It is easy to become entrapped in the low-level, hypnotic trance of our external circumstances, and pointing this out often invites resistance from others. I have come to realize that organizing my life into two distinct categories simplifies my experience. One category is labeled THINGS I CAN CONTROL, while the other is labeled NOT MINE. You will choose your own labels, of course, but understanding where to place each circumstance is essential for self improvement. Once I clarify what belongs in each category, I can direct my energy toward what truly matters.
Learning to navigate the present moment is crucial. I have found that if I venture too far into the future, I risk becoming overwhelmed.
While I can engage in goal-setting and visualization, I must do so with a solid foundation in the present. Allowing my mind to wander unchecked into future possibilities invites a range of anxieties and distractions. In this moment, I accept the wisdom imparted by my teacher: to refrain from judging by appearances. Often, the surface of things does not accurately reflect the underlying reality.
When I fixate on the problem, I can easily become entangled in the belief that my current circumstances represent the entirety of existence. It is all too easy to forget the transient and fluid nature of life. Thus, it is unwise and destabilizing to seek peace and security outside of myself, whether in the world, my career, a relationship, or the pursuit of an ideal state that shields me from life’s inherent friction. The moment I stopped resisting life, I realized I didn’t need to control everything—just the next thought I choose to believe for my own self improvement.
Light & Love,
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